My Body. Mine.
My body. Mine. Some may tell me how it should look, how it should act, what space it is allowed to occupy, how much space it may take up. But it is mine and therefore not theirs to dictate. I am a 5 foot 4 inch woman, I weigh 255 pounds, I have large breasts and “Thunder Thighs,” I have very long blonde hair, blue/gray/green eyes, and I love myself just the way I am. Oh and I am a lesbian. Occasionally it is hard to remember that I like and love myself. I don’t want to conform to the image of the media. I don’t want to starve myself and workout continuously to become much too thin. Instead I want to work out some, enough to be a bit more active. If I lose weight fine, if not That is fine too. I don’t fit the stereotypical image of a lesbian, I don’t fit the stereotype of a white woman, and I like it that way. My body is mine and it is beautiful.
I am told by society that I am fat and ugly but, I have potential as a white blonde blue eyed woman. To that I say I am “fat” but not in the way society means, instead I am fat and that is beautiful. Society shows me their disdain for my body through the media, and worse for me through clothing. Try finding beautiful clothing that fits well in most stores, it is hard. However, I think that will change as we reclaim our bodies. Because My body is mine and it is beautiful.
Society has learned to control so efficiently that even my own family has tried to correct my body. My grandfather , before he died, told me again and again that I was fat and needed to lose weight. My brother has done the same. The worst of it though is not the people who openly tell me my body is not how they want it, the worst is those who try to defend me. In response to my grandfather and my brother my mother has repeatedly “defended” me but really she spent her time trying to make excuses for me rather than standing up for me. She said that it was not my fault, she said that I had been work out a lot, I had been eating healthier, and still I didn’t lose weight. It is true I had been working out, it is true that I had been eating more healthy foods, but not to lose weight, just for myself, to feel better, to work towards a bit healthier living. Because My body is mine and it is beautiful.
I hope that by declaring that I am happy with my body that I love my body, that I love myself, someone else will reevaluate what society says about them and they start to see themselves the way I see myself. Because My body is mine and it is beautiful.
With love, I write this for myself, and for others,